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I have had this picture/ quote for some time now and it has been weighing heaving on my heart. Part of me didn’t know if I should write on this because I was scared my rejection and abandonment issues would shine through because there have been so so so many times I have tried to be friends with people, I have tried to “fit” in and I have tried to be accepted and so many times I have tried and tried and have received nothing in return. Maybe my expectations were to high or maybe God was protecting me from further rejection or maybe He was protecting me from becoming someone I wasn’t created to be just to feel accepted.

Here is the reality. I have longed to feel like I belong. To feel as if I matter and to feel like I could just fit in, be accepted and be invited to walk life out with people. I was created and designed to be in communion, relationship with others and nothing fills my heart more than walking life out with people. Unfortunately for so long I have had seasonal friends. People that have come into my life for a season, got what was needed and fled. I use to take that as rejection until God revealed to me that it was not about me, but their time with me had come to an end and it was time to move on. That HE brought me to people so that we would both be a blessing to one another and there were times we no longer needed in another.

I fought so many times to have an important spot in someone’s life. I fought to find that friend that actually wanted to be my friend through it ALL and someone that just wanted to be present. Every time God placed a new “friend” in my life I thought to myself is this the one that I have prayed for? Is this one not going to disappear? Is this the one that will be a part of my life for the long haul?

But here is the amazing thing about God. Yes I maybe have placed a guard up, a wall up to protect my heart but God continues to bring amazing people Into my life. Some seasonal, some He weeds out but lately I truly believe He has brought the lifelong ones into my path. There are people that come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime and I think we need to trust God In whichever or whatever He brings to us. I have walked through a lot of pain, discouragement and disappointments when it comes to friends and I have walked through becoming someone I am not just to try and be accepted and to fit in. I needed to go through healing to realize that “friends” could not be the source of my joy but that He is the only one that can meet those deep longings, those deep needs and once I surrendered that to Him (still a healing in process) I began to see what amazing things He has placed around me and I began to take that “expectation” off people and learned to trust in Him in deeper more profound ways. I am fully aware of my abandonment and rejection issues and I am fully aware that my perception of things is not always the reality of things but I also know that God created me and wired me a certain way and although I have gained so much healing, the reality is that I still struggle with wanting to be accepted, invited and welcomed in. That is why I love. That I can run and turn to Jesus with this daily cross that  have to take up and that in the face of hurt and disappointment, He never judges me but instead LOVES me. AMAZING!!!

I really want to encourage you and tell you this. If you are trying to fight for a spot in someone’s life to be noticed, to fit in and to feel like you belong, well allow God to close that door. It is NOT where you are supposed to be. It’s not where you belong and there is nothing in that relationship that is going to benefit you, encourage you or uplift you. Don’t get me wrong, any and all relationships are hard work but to fight for a spot, well that is not the hard work that is intended.
You are way too precious, too valuable and too important to waste your time on trying to be noticed and feel like you belong. God has amazing people He wants to position around you that will love on you, encourage you and make you truly feel that you are right where you are supposed to be.

Don’t allow someone else’s actions define who you are and don’t allow the “popularity” of someone make you feel that you need to be part of the crowd. You are perfectly and wonderfully made. You are made in the image of Christ and you are a child of the one true king. He has nothing but blessings, In abundance, to pour down upon you and for you to conform to other’s ways just to “fit” in is not His heart for you. His desire is for you to be surrounded by HIS Angels. To be in Godly community with people that get you, love you, encourage you and people that bring out the best of Jesus in you. Don’t waste your time on people that don’t have time for you. You are way to precious and valuable for that.
Be still enough to hear His voice and to hear the direction in which He is leading you. There may be a time of drought in your life but let me tell you, when you only allow Him and His army into your life, the life and blessings that come forth are abundantly amazing. You know His hand is ALL over it and you know the covering and blessings that will come forth. Trust, seek and you will find where you belong, to whom you belong and you will see His hand, His face and His faithfulness.

You see for years I have been trying to find friends that wanted me to be a part of their lives and the reality is no one has ever shown 100 percent interest but God has blessed be in abundance and now these amazing people are in my life. I don’t have to try, it just works and I know His hand is ALL over this and I am blessed and in awe. In His perfect timing everything works out according to HIS plans and purpose because nothing is ever to early, ever to late and it’s always on (His) time. He is good ALL the time and I am so beyond blessed and grateful