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Yesterday on Facebook I saw this picture with this quote and it so resonated with my soul. “She builds others up because she knows what it’s like to be torn down.”  Living a life where I have experienced deep brokenness, pain abandonment and rejection I have experienced the darkness of the soul and self image. I have experienced the damage that occurs when someone is mean and hurtful and I have also walked through the trials and heartache of not feeling valued and good enough. Yet, I have also experienced Gods grace, love and forgiveness. I have seen His mighty hand at work and I have seen how he has strengthened me, built me up and positioned me to use my trails to bring light, love, truth and hope into those who are victim to someone else’s harsh tongue and actions.

A few days back, I picked Avery up from school and she was not in a good mood. She was agitated and down right mean. As the moments progressed she began to tell me about some girls that were being mean to her and that it all revolved around a club being formed, some girls were invited into it, some not, but if you were invited you needed to go through a “screening” process and if you didn’t meet the criteria that they wanted, well then you weren’t able to be a part of this.

In the moment I was emotional because for so long Avery has been talking about people not being that nice to her. I know my sweet little girl can sometimes be over sensitive so as she would share this with me I would redirect her and speak truth into her. But this time was different. This time she was truly affected by what was going on and this time she was feeling rejection.  I could see the pain in her eyes and I could see how her little heart was breaking and thats what broke my heart.

As John and I have parented all of our children, we have taught them to love, be kind, show grace and mercy and to forgive. That there are some people that don’t always know how to communicate their feelings and it may come out as harsh or rude but we need to love on those people extra hard so they can see the light and hope of Jesus. But in this teaching, which Avery has executed so beautifully, she was facing at six years old, rejection over and over again.

I do want to say I am so very proud of Avery and how she stood up for herself and did not waver in her foundation or what she knows as truth just to fit in and be accepted. She knew right from wrong and she was willing to take the “rejection” that came from her standing firm in her beliefs. But this mommas heart was hurting because I know those feelings. I know the hurt in them and I know the desire to be liked by everyone and the self doubt that comes when you know you are not liked or accepted by certain individuals.  She is facing at six what I have faced most of my life and that I still struggle with at 41.

I have to be honest, as much as this situation is not what I expected to be facing with Avery in first grade, I am praising God for allowing it to happen so early. That I have the ability to speak truths into her life, build her up and give her the tools that she will need to face these giants when they come at her head on. To affirm who she is, to whom she belongs and remind her to go to God, pray against attacks from the enemy and to stand strong and firm in her unwavering foundation in HIM. I have been able to have deep discussions with her, pray powerful prayers over her, allow the spirit to work in her and show her that we pray for those whom have hurt us. That it is ok to place boundaries in our lives, respecting everyone but only allowing safe people to be an active part of our lives. That we pray God would change the hearts of those who have rejected us as well as praying God restores our hearts, and gives us a deeper love for them.

As I have struggled with why Avery continues to put herself in situations where she could be rejected by the same people, God allowed one of his angels to remind me of this truth about Avery. She is my daughter and so mimics who I am. Avery sees the deeper soul of someone, she sees the good in them and she places herself in situations to show the love and grace of God, no matter the cost. She puts herself around those who are hurting so she can show Gods love. She is a gatherer. She wants everyone to like her because she wants everyone to know HIM.

I am at a place right now where I am tired of hearing get ready, this just happens and it only gets worse. God created us in HIS image, which means we are created in love and to love. I get we live in a broken world full of sin and hurt but isn’t it our responsibility to stop this trend. To show our kids what it means to respect others, even if you don’t like them.  That we do not need to tear others down to make ourselves feel better.  That they are still human beings with feeling and emotions and that we have an opportunity to change things. To set a new normal in history and to show our kids the extraordinary feelings of love instead of the hurtful feelings of rejection? As people, and as Christians its time to be different and bring back hope and love into others lives. Kids should not be faced with feelings of suicide, cutting, or having issues with their self worth or self image. They should be faced with confidence, love and they should be faced with firmly knowing who they are and to whom they belong.

I am so thankful God has allowed me to walk down so many hard roads and to live through so much pain and brokenness. I know the deep hurt of the soul, feeling like there is no hope and I also know the depths of Gods grace, love and mercy. My trials have allowed me to see deep within the soul, empathize with the brokenhearted and to show the hope and light of HIM through my testimony. I have been able to come alongside so many individuals, speak Gods truth back into their brokenness and I have witnessed first hand the true healing’s that have taken place. God has allowed me to see in the spiritual realm, to prophesy over others, speak encouragement into their lives and be in the front row to watch the power and work of his mighty hand.  My trails have positioned me to able to speak into the wounds of so many and now they are allowing me to speak into the trials of my beautiful daughter. I don’t ever want others, especially my kids to walk through the dark night of the soul because the deep pain that comes with that is downright awful. However, I also know that sometimes we need to go there to seek His face, see his face and to experience the depths of his love. I hate that Avery is walking through this but I am so eternally grateful that she is at such a young age. Its is a confirmation and affirmation of the plans God has for her. He is building her up now, equipping her and allowing her to experience emotions of pain, rejection and abandonment so she can understands the pain associated with it, never wanting to impart that onto another individual. I am blessed God chose her, chose me to be her momma and is using ALL things for his glory and good. I have said this over and over again. If my life, my trials and my pain have been so that someone would come to know his great name, well then it was all worth it.


Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.