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I was released from the hospital and home. Thank you Jesus
 
John is working on getting the appointment at the Mayo Clinic. Please be praying we get in quickly as I know that would be our next step and honestly a BONE MARROW transplant truly looks like our BEST option and the neurologist agrees. They have recently done this with mast cell patients and are seeing GREAT success. I truly believe this is where God is leading us and I have complete peace about that. We just have to wait to go to the Mayo Clinic and see what they say ?❤️
 
As I walked into my room, I saw these beautiful flowers a dear friend brought me the other day and I was mesmerized how all the flowers had “fallen” but there was the one in the middle that was upright and standing strong. God immediately brought me to the verse in Isaiah 40:8,”The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the WORD of our God endures FOREVER.” WOW indescribable truth.
 
Things around us fade. They fall by the waste side and we feel defeated by the heaviness of the world. We cling to what we know as truth yet sometimes our posture is filled with grief, sadness and utter despair. Some of us are in the process of falling but still keep a smile on our face because we don’t want the world to know just how bad things are. Some of us fall hard and some of us are barely holding it together. I GET it. Life has its challenges and sometimes it gets tiring trying to keep it together. Sometimes it’s easier to put on a “mask” then to be transparent about what’s going on deep within the cellar of your souls because more wounding comes when you open your life up to others. They criticize, they judge, they break you even more. So instead of experiencing whiplash from the words of others it’s easier to strap on your “I have it all together mask” and go on with life.
 
I know I am transparent and vulnerable with my life and with that comes backlash. I have experienced hateful, harsh, demeaning comments about my health and what “they” think I need to do but here is the truth of it. Does it sting to read those things YES. Do I hold onto them, YES. The Bible repeatedly talks about the power of the tongue and how it brings life and death and how it’s a double Edge sword. Those hateful words stick BUT God. But God tells us in Ephesians that any words that are not uplifting, edifying and building one up in the ways of the Lord are NOT of HIM. Do you grasp that? These arrows that come at you, at me, they are NOT of God. They are words of the enemy and they are words he uses as he tries to come in to steal, kill and destroy. So, I delete those comments off my page and I surrender them to God so HE can delete them out of my mind. Yet here is the thing, I will NOT stop being who I am because someone is going to hate on me. I am transparent and vulnerable because this isn’t about me, it’s ALL about HIM. I share my storms of life with y’all because Greater He who is in me than he who is in the world. I share me with you because I so deeply want you to know how magnificent and wonderful GOD is. I share my journey with y’all because even in the storm as I am in prayer and petition with God, crying out for complete physical healing, when I meet with HIM I find healing because He bring me comfort, rest, strength and His shalom peace.
 
He is faithful, He is sovereign, He is our Jehovah Rafa and He is the GREAT I AM. My life and the journey I am walking has bumps and winding roads but I would NOT have it any other way. To live is Christ, to die is gain. The turbulence on my life flight gets intense at moments but it’s in the moments God reaches down from heaven and rescues me. It’s in those moments Christ meets me face to face and speaks healing truths into my soul and it’s in those moments my breath gets taken away because I am in awe of His faithfulness.
 
I share me with you because my heart is for y’all to KNOW Him. I share me with you because I am willing to suffer for the sake of Christ. I am willing to be used so y’all can see just how magnificent, faithful, loving and BIG He is.
 
So, as I came home today feeling weary and somber, I came into my bedroom, my place of rest, with my arms open wide in complete surrender, God reminded me that the no matter what obstacles I am being faced with that He, His words, His truths and His promises are the core of who I am and though I may feel parts of myself being slumped over in brokenness, He stands firm and strong in me. He is the pillar, the foundation in which I stand and although the strong winds may come and try to knock me down, I will not be shaken.
 
Love y’all deeply and know I am standing in the gap for you and I am praying with you and for you.
 
Psalm 18:16-19, “He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me.”