One thing I am learning in this season of life is being more comfortable and confident, being stronger and more courageous in my own skin. I know I am ok with not being ok, but what I am trying to master in the right now is being ok to just sit with myself and actually LOVE all that I have endured and encountered because this version of me, well it is who God has created, molded and ordained for such a time as this.
One of the many things I battle is being alone with myself. Do not get me wrong, I love me some Ali time but to be still in God’s presence, tuning out the music, kids, phone calls, social media and just being silent with no noises of the world, well that can at moments leave me in an uncomfortable space.
Why? Because when silent from the noises around me and silent within myself, not thinking about a million and one things I need to get done, I am left in an open and vulnerable space where my prayers that I pray daily can be confronted and answered. You know the prayers to prune and purify me. The prayers to strip me of my flesh and to clothe me with God’s righteousness. The prayers to search my heart and know my ways. The prayers to convict me of areas I am falling short in, have stumbled, sinned, held bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness in. The places I have band-aided up with avoidance, shopping or isolation and the places I more often run from instead of sitting with so God could truly do an amazing work in and through me.
I get it. Sometimes the pain of where we have been, what we are currently going through or the turmoil we know exists in the near future can seem overwhelming and exhausting. I know that facing the giants in our lives can be daunting, tumultuous and down right scary but I want to encourage you with this. Nothing you have been through, are going through or will go through is too big nor too small for God. Your problems, hardships, battles, God already knows what you are facing and He is dispersing His army of angles to cover you with an angelic realm as He places a hedge of protection around you, fanning into flame your presence before Him.
I know you all have prayed many prayesr for breakthrough, for deliverance, for freedom. I know you have been on your knees desperately seeking God’s face for answers, for hope, for a glimpse of His light to lead you out of the dark and desolate valley you have been barrel crawling through. I know you have been face planted on the ground waiting for your prison walls to come crumbling down, and for your chains to be broken so you can stand in a straight posture of praise and victory.
So, if these are the prayers you have been offering up and if these are the prayers you are contending for, why is it so hard to be still before God, to be still with yourself? Why is it so hard to silence the distracting noises around so you can be attentive and in tune with the gentle whispers He is speaking into your soul? Why is it so hard to be still and know He is God? Why is it so hard to trust that God wants to impart love, hope and light into your weary soul? Why is it so hard to trust that God wants to equip you with the necessary tools you need in the right now so you can finally stand without crutches, walk without falling into the same ditch and run without a limping?
I know to face the masked giants in your life can leave you hunched over in an unfathomable pain but allowing God into those torn up, bleeding out places in the crevices of your soul can be the life flight you have been crying out for. Allow God to meet you where you are. Allow yourself grace as you jump over mountaintop hurdles and then sit with yourself and praise God for this version of you because this version, the one you have been running from is the best version of you yet. Slow down enough to get to know this version of you and slow down enough to breathe in all that she/he is. Slow down enough to notice the little so you can embrace all the BIG God has done in your life and slow down enough to sit in His presence in a posture of praise and gratitude for never leaving you nor forsaking you. Slow down enough to see the footprints you left behind in darkness and slow down enough so that you can set a new pathway as you run with perseverance, lighting up the roads with His illuminating light He has imparted in and through you. And then slow down enough to inhale in this promise, “Being confident of this, He who began a great work within you will finish it until the day of Christ Jesus,” (Philippians 1:6).
Be comfortable in your skin and be confident with where you are in your journey. It isn’t on accident that you have been through all you have been through and it isn’t a mistake that you are reading this message right now. God has prepared the table before you and He is asking you to sit next to Him so you can feast on the harvest He has anointed just for you to eat. Dig in and get full because the blessings are in overflow.
