My heart is yours, my soul is free, thank you God for saving me..
These words keep resinating in my soul as I remember where I once was. Broken, shattered, wounded and needing love. I needed to encounter more than what I was experiencing. I needed to feel loved no matter how heavy my baggage was and how deep my flaws were. There were many times in my life I was ashamed of who I was and felt victim to all that I encountered. And then one day things changed for me.. It was right around my birthday and a bunch of ladies that I was in a bible study with prayed over me. A lady by the name of Kelly Kidd laid her hands on me and prayed something that changed and transformed me, The words she prayed I will never forget. She said Lord, I know Alison has been through a lot but I pray that she will not be victim to her circumstances any longer but that she would now use them to impact so many others…
All of the sudden it hit me. The struggles, hard aches, pains and disappointments were now to be used to help others, to help lead them to hope and life. My life was not a mistake. I was allowed to encounter so much, persevere through the trenches and walk through dirty soil so that I could lead others to the quite waters. I will never be in the same boat as someone else and I will never be wearing the same shoes as them, But I can say I have walked a similar journey and this is how the Lord carried me through. What a blessing and PRAISE!!
You see our testimonies are supposed to be used to lead others to the cross. So many people walk through a difficult and painful life and hold it captive. They don’t share how they have walked through their trials and tribulations in life and how their God lead them through things.
I have been criticized many of times for my transparency and vulnerability and it has often made others feel uncomfortable. People have confronted me on the fact that my life should be private and not public knowledge. I appreciate their concern and trust me I live through the wrath of being “me”. But here is who I am.. God is very clear in Scripture that it is our testimony that leads others to know HIM. Isn’t that our goal? Isn’t that what we are called to do? Spread the GOOD NEWS? Let me tell you something.. I would get up on top of a mountain and scream the miraculous, marvelous life changing things God has done in my life through the hardest most difficult situations. I would sacrifice my life so that others could see his faithfulness and goodness to HIS beloved children and I would do anything just so that one more person would get to know him and enter into his throne room.
Right now I am going though one of the biggest trials in my life with my health. Having tremors, spasms, being in and out of the ER and going to a multitude of specialists trying to figure out what is going on with me. It is tearing me down physically and mentally and to be honest it is embarrassing when I have these tremors out of no where in public.. When they happen I just want to run and there is know where to go. Since day one John and I have talked about this and how God could use this circumstance to lead others to HIM. Would I truly be willing to sacrifice my health and life so that others might get to know HIM?? YES YES YES
But as I struggle and as I reflect on Gods love for me this is the truth I stand firm on. There is one thing I know for certain.. I am a new creation in Christ and although I am going through a lot of medical problems right now I know I will be healed. Continued prayers for me are needed and for those who God is drawing in through my circumstances. It’s not on accident that I am going through this trail and suffering. “For I must become less so that others may become more.” It is all worth the suffering so that more may enter into HIS kingdom
So as I run the race the God has placed before me and as I hold tight to HIS hand for strength, I thank you God for saving me when I was just a wondering Jewish girl looking for a well of living, healing water. He saved me from the filthy gutters of the world and saved me. He has blossomed me into a beautiful butterfly that loves to fly around spreading HIS truth , love and life.
If you are broken, shattered and feel you are at the end of your rope in life, ask HIM and you WILL receive. Then you too will sing his Praises and say THANK YOU LORD FOR SAVING ME!!!!