The last few weeks I have been under major attack. The enemy has been trying to have a field day with my emotions, my insecurities and my rejection and abandonment issues are at a full blown high. My confidence in my appearance has dwindled and the reality is there has been a veil over my eyes and I have not seen myself the way the Lord sees me and created me to be. The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy and boy he has been hard core after me to take me down, trying to steal my joy, kill my self value and destroy my self worth. You would think after numerous seasons of him trying to take me down from the SAME things (yes he is not creative) that I would recognize my triggers earlier but nope, doesn’t happen. Its not until I am in a whirlwind cycle downward, having a major pity party for myself that the veil is lifted from my eyes and I see the truth in all that is consuming me. But God is good and He allows us to go through these trials so that we lean into Him more and grow deeper in our trust and love for Him and it never fails to happen each and every time. My relationship with HIM takes on new dimensions each and every time I allow HIM to be God and relinquish my control over to HIM. He is SOOO Good ALL the time.
As I have been praying asking God for relief and to lead me besides quite waters, I keep reflecting on this photo that my beloved friend Bill Johnston had taken and during his memorial service last week, it was one of the photos that was placed out for people to take home with them. When I saw this photo I was captivated by what seemed to be a red mountains and an eagle soaring wide and high. I knew this was the photo I needed to bring home with me and I knew this photo would speak to me in profound ways. You see this photo reminds me of one of my very favorite verses in Isaiah 40:31 which says, “those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will SOAR on the wings of eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint.”
And what do you know, last night in my dreams God revealed to me what exactly this photo meant…
God created us in His image and His desire is for us to be free, to soar high on the Wings of eagles but with life, the pains, heartaches and brokenness we face, we slowly fade away and what we use to fly high with, we suddenly become people that have caged in our emotions, hopes and dreams. We start looking at life behind these bars and we seek to find freedom in the wrong places. We know Gods WORD to be truth but there is a fear to truly trust Him to carry us through the thickest and darkest of the storms. However, if we truly rested in Him and His promises, allowing Him to open the door to the cage we so safely secured ourselves in, we would be able to meet Him in deeper ways and soar higher than before. God created us to fly, to soar and we so often take life’s unfortunate twists to keep us locked up. When the door is opened we take baby steps out but quickly run back inside the cage and slam the door shut when we feel anxious, frighten or pain. Yet, if we allowed Him to touch those open wounds in our souls with His anointed, powerful healing touch, once the door was reopened, we would truly be able to fly out of the cage, gliding, soaring and singing His praises of how He met us, redeemed us and held our hands to set us free. We would not look back but continue soaring to new heights and depths because we would not grow weary or faint but we would have a deep hope, faith and trust in the Lord, and that is when we will truly be able to soar high on the wings of the eagles.
Oh how I LOVE this revelation because this right here, well it is me to a T. I so often allow the disappointments of life, the pains and heartaches to drag me down and I subconsciously run back to the security of my “cage” and nestle myself right back into a place where I control things and I know “life” won’t hurt me. I go into self protection mode and control who comes in, who I push out and I more often than not don’t allow God to do what only He can do. After many seasons of running away from God, not wanting to face and walk through the deep hurts before me, I have learned that running into the “security” of my cage and slamming the door shut when life bears more than I can handle, ultimately gives satan the victory. Controlling things in my own life comes natural to me. It is what I have had to do to get through and survive most of my life yet me controlling me isn’t a part of Gods plan for me. He wants to control things and He wants to heal and redeem those things I have hidden in the corner of my soul, protecting and guarding from deeper pain and sorrow. I am entering a season of God coming FIRST. Where I have relinquished ME over to Him, allowing Him to purify out all this yuck that keeps me from a deeper, more intimate relationship with HIM. A season where I have to consciously say YES to HIM and no to my usual isolation and seclusion. A season where hurts and pains deep within my soul will come to light, be healed and redeemed and a season where that door that has been slightly opened in my own cage of life will swing wide open as I meet God in profound ways and allow HIM to take me, mold me and set me free, soaring high above the mountains, in open skies, wings spread wide and basking in HIS magnificent glory, praising His high and holy name. Oh how I love and adore HIM…
I don’t know what you are walking through right now in your own lives and I do not the pain and heartache you are facing but what I do know is that God is good and faithful and He always sends His army of angels out, giving us a glimpse of His unfailing, unwavering, love for us to carry us through. He reminds us that HE will never leave us nor forsake us and He WILL walk us through seasons of drought, carry us through the darkest of days and fly with us as we are released into freedom. God is the way, the truth and the light and with HIM all things are possible. Trust Him to open the cage you have been locked up in and allow Him to meet you, redeem and resurrect what has been keeping you prisoner and allow Him to release you into freedom. His glory far surpasses anything else you will experience. TURST in HIM..