Today Pam and I drove to Houston for my appointment at MD Anderson tomorrow morning. I am not going to sit here and lie. I am feeling very anxious, nervous and weary as to what lies ahead but I have complete faith that God has already gone before me and won this battle. That he has me covered and his love, grace, mercy and strength will carry me through whatever lies ahead.
For those who are uncertain about my disease, here is a description of the disease and what my day will look like on Thursday, tomorrow, at MD Anderson and I ask that you please continue to keep me and my family in your prayers. I serve a God that is so much bigger and greater then this diagnoses and whatever I endure I want his name to get all the glory. My continuous prayer is that through my suffering that the masses come to know HIs great name. I will keep you updated. for he is my strength when I am weak, he is my comforter, my healer and my great physician. Nothing is impossible through Christ Jesus and his blood covers all.
So as the night comes to an end I have a knot in my throat and my soul wants to curl up in a ball and cry. But as we were heading out to dinner Pam and I looked up into the sky and we saw this beautiful sunset, and then God spoke so deeply into my core. “You are covered, I will sustain you and my fire burns within. You are not alone, I have my army camped around you and as I was with Daniel in the lions den and as I was with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the pit of the fire, I will also be with you.”
You see no matter what battle we face, no matter how hot the fire may seem, he will ALWAYS be with us. He will not let us burn or let us be set ablaze. We will walk out of the burning furnace with not even a hint of a scent of smoke. He goes before us, paves the path and he has already won the battle. Although we are being used in the process, we must be willing to sacrifice our bodies and our life so that his great name may be known among the masses, among all the nations.
With that being said, I will walk into tomorrow humbled before him as I know you are all lifting me up in prayers with loving empathetic hearts. I don’t know what lies ahead but I will tell you this. I am so beyond grateful that God has chosen me to endure all that lays ahead and that I can do it with the confidence and reassurance with my head held high because my hope and faith is grounded in HIM. There is nothing that can come my way that will detour me from my faith and love for him. I am hopeful and I see such a glorious brilliant light ahead. I go into tomorrow with expectation of meeting HIM in deeper more passionate ways and I cannot wait to update you all about how great, how soverign and how all encompassing He reveals himself to be as I am on bended knee, face down seeking his unfathomable, loving embrace.
Rest in HIM with me and be fervent in prayer for me and my amazing family. I will keep you all updated and thank you for all of your love.