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Gosh life has been nothing short of a surrendering, faith building journey. As I know I am getting better and God is healing me, I continue to struggle daily. The pain and the sadness of “not being where I want to be” brings me to tears. I yearn for the day I can just sit here pain free and the day where walking and doing “life” isn’t too stressful on my body. But for now I continue to place my hope, trust and faith in my mighty God.

As I got into bed tonight, in extreme back/spine pain, praying and crying out to God, “God please heal me, please take away this pain, I cannot do this much longer. God do you hear me? Please God, please hold me,” With tears running down my face, I opened my devotional for the day and this is what it said, “The person whose faith has been severely tested yet who has come through the battle victoriously is the person to whom even greater tests will come. The finest jewels are those that are the dos carefully cut and polished, and the most precious metals are put through the hottest fires. You can be sure Abraham would never have been called the Father of Faith had he not been tested to the utmost.” (Streams in the Desert daily devotional)

WOW, blown away and just what I needed to hear. There is a reason and a purpose for this “interruption” in my life and as I walk this season out, trying not to get taken out or burned by the fire, I am reminded daily that His love and grace is sufficient to carry me through. Although I feel weak, He continues to give me the strength I need to push through the day. As I cry, my husband holds my hand and reminds me of His truths and rebukes all the lies I begin to believe and says NOT TODAY SATAN, NOT TODAY. This season is far from easy but my faith continues to grow and get strengthed as I sit in awe of the miracles He places before my eyes.

God continues to bless our family and me and even though the Mayo Clinic seems so far away, the reality is that it is only three weeks away. I will continue to surrender to Him and allow Him to purify and refine me, drawing me closer to Him and molding me into HIS likeness. I will continue to praise HIM in this storm and I will continue to bring honor and glory to HIS name. “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4

I ask that you continue to pray for us. The reality is I am sad, I am weary and I am frustrated. I want to be healed NOW and that just isn’t His plan right now. Yet I know there WILL be a day that I stand upon the mountaintop dancing and signing His praises on how even when thrown into the fire, I withstood the flames and walked out on the other side HEALED.

I don’t know what you are going through right now but please place your hope, trust and faith in HIM. He is for us not against us. I love what Christine Cain says when she speaks. She says even on her worst day satan couldn’t take her down. The giant that is before us no where near bigger than God. He is bigger than whatever we are facing and HE promises to never leave us nor forsake us. We will, meaning you and I, will get through the storm, the fire and pain that is set before us right now and God will redeem it for His good and His glory. We need to hold onto these truths and we need to hold onto the cross. James 1:2-4 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

Let these trials we are facing redefine us in a way that we persevere with our heads held high, our eyes focused on Him and the end prize. How we walk out and live out our journeys is a testament to HIs goodness and faithfulness. Love you all BIG and I thank you for standing in the gap for me and my family.