I know I have written on forgiveness several times but it is an area in which I get poked with a thorn every so often and its an area that right now is gnawing at my soul. Its an area that when triggered, stings, makes my inner being boil and most often than not my skin wants to jump off my bones. I am fully aware of the fact that having these emotions means I have an underlying seed of bitterness and there is obviously areas in which I need to release to the Lord and allow HIM to work in me so I can come to a place of surrender and healing. However, when certain people in your life continue to hurt and disappoint you it is sometimes so VERY hard.
Forgiveness is an ongoing process, one that you continuously need to go before the Lord with and one that when triggered, more often than not brings back a flood of memories and emotions that get ones soul all heated up. For me, forgiveness is a daily action I need to bring to the feet of Jesus. Its a reality of my dysfunctional family, one that I am constantly getting hurt by and one that truly makes my soul weep. However, I have a choice. I can allow the flood of memories and emotions to tear me down, leading me down a dark road of bitterness or I can choose to focus my thoughts on Jesus, allowing HIM to fill me, refine me, and to pour life back into me. To be honest, that decision doesn’t always come easy. I so often get trapped in a sea of emotions, feeling sorry for myself and what I have to deal with when it comes to “dysfunction” but then I get slapped in the face with HIS love and truth just at that pivotal time when I am about to sink or swim and I am reminded of these truths.
God loves me with such abundance that He wants to lavish me with his unfailing, undoubtable, unconditional love. He has placed so many people along my path that have loved and embraced me as a daughter and sister. He has allowed me to go through many trials but he has always lead me towards him and although the journey has seemed heart wrenching at times, he has allowed me to grow leaps and bounds. He has shown me what true forgiveness looks like and He has showed me that forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget, it doesn’t mean you allow certain people back in your life, and it doesn’t mean you can’t have boundaries. Forgiveness says, I release all to God and you no longer have control over me. Forgiveness says my heart has been broken but God is piecing it back together. Forgiveness says I choose obedience and love instead of bitterness.
I don’t know where you are at today. If you are struggling with forgiving someone that has deeply hurt you or if you have felt you have forgiven someone and they have recently hurt you again and you are in the sea of emotions and memories building bitterness back up towards them, or if you are having a hard time forgiving yourself but I can tell you this. God has poured out his grace on us so we can pour it out on others. Go before the Lord, ask him where the seed of anger, bitterness, or resentment is and ask him to help you release it to him, bringing you freedom and victory. He is fully aware forgiveness is an ongoing process and he will be there to help you, guide you and lead you every step of the way. Its your choice to hold onto it or release it to him, allowing him to be God and bring about healing, redemption and restoration. Remember what man thinks is impossible, God says is possible. Trust Him, you will not be disappointed.
2 Corinthians 2:5-11 [ Forgiveness for the Offender ] 5 If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent—not to put it too severely. 6 The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. 7 Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 8 I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. 9 Another reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. 10 Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, 11 in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.