Sorry that I have not written for a while but I have to say after several days of feeling fabulous I started spiraling down. Ugh this disease is so frustrating on so many levels. I told my counselor the other day my health feels like that dysfunctional relationship that you have in your life. You know its bad but you know there is hope and you see the potential of the person and then you have a few good days with them and you think, WOW they are changing, they are getting it and then boom, right back to square one.
I know that seems funny but that is how I feel about my health. I know God can and will heal me but whenI have a few good days I believe “this is it” and then boom back to not feeling well again. Yet here is the awesome thing about where I am at. I so deeply love the Lord and my faith and trust in Him has not and will not waver. I know full on that my physical health is a direct hit from the enemy and he is trying every tactic he can to try and make me crumble and it just will not happen. That being said, I am human and I do have days of weariness and feeling weak BUT… God has sustained me and gives me the strength I need to persevere.
I would love to share something with all of you that I have been keeping tight lipped, but I believe God placed it on my heart to share it with you so you could be joining me in prayer and be standing on the frontline of the battlefield with me to be praying against the enemy as I begin to be released.
When I was about 15 years old I had a vision that one day I would be standing in front a large group of people and speaking to them. This is before I knew the Lord and it has been my hearts desire ever since. To be speaking to the masses and to write a book. Well, after I came to know the Lord and as He pruned and purified me and as the wounds I encountered in life became scars and less painful, the desire I had to speak grew more intensely and my passion to speak about Christ was evident. When I was in seminary, when I was questioning if this was the course I needed to be on, A lady that I did not know came up to me and prophesied, saying I would be speaking in front of the masses and I would be healing people. She said healing can be from A-Z and I am not sure what type of healing you would be doing but you will be healing people by the masses. WOW WOW WOW, confirmation to what the Lord had placed on my heart. But I have to say as the years, and I mean years passed along I began to grow faint that this vision, this prophetic word would ever come forth.
Several months ago after some very important ladies in my life had been in contact with me and sharing my blog, we had prayed we would get together and see where the Lord wanted to lead me and us in ministry. We were planning on coming together, going before the Lord and seeking HIS direction. Well, about a month ago, out of left field, I received an email and next weekend February 20, I will be flying to Nashville to speak at a church and three different woman’s groups, flying back here on the 25th.
WOW WOW WOW, I cannot believe this is happening and I cannot believe how faithful God is to His promises. He allowed me to go through some yucky, muddy, treacherous things in life to bring me to this point. Where I am pruned and purified in HIM and boy has he done a MIGHTY work in me. He has brought me to a place of complete humbleness and desperation for HIM and he has brought me to a place where my faith is strong, unshakable and a place where He truly is my strength in my weakness.
This all being said, the enemy is hard core after me because he does not want me going out and sharing the message of hope, light and life in Christ. Please do not take this post as being boastful, but take it and pray with me and for me. That the enemy would flee and leave me alone. I stand firm on this truth. I will NOT, did you hear me? I will NOT be shaken. I will NOT waver and I will NOT ever loose my faith and trust in Him. He sustains me and He is my hope. End of discussion. To me there is no other way and He will give me my daily bread and He will continue to sustain me and help me lift my head towards Him on my weakest most dreariest of days.
If all I have gone through and continue to endure has been to bring me to such a time as this, bring it on. I have said over and over again if the masses come to know HIS great name through my suffering I am game. Satan you have no more rule or reign over me, my family or my life. You are crushed in the mighty, powerful, anointed name of Jesus and HIS name and His glory will prevail. Every knee WILL bow and every tongue WILL confess HE is Lord and I will be going out singing and proclaiming His goodness til the end.
I will keep you all posted as a I am beyond excited to see what The Lord has planned and what He will unfold.
Many many blessings to you