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Oh my WORD, I cannot even comprehend the awesomeness of God and what I experienced this past week in Colorado at the Inner Healing Seminar. All I can say is when you open your heart and position yourself before the almighty powerful God, AMAZING things will happen.

As I process all that transpired I will write on what the Lord reveals but I really feel led to share with you all the lament that I wrote Thursday evening. The Lord was nudging my soul to sit before him and purge what was deep within and this is what came out:

God I come before you weak, vulnerable, shattered and broken. I come before you grieving so many loses that have left a deep dark wound on my soul. I come to you in despair, begging, pleading for you to hear the cries of my heart and asking that you meet me, heal me and redeem what the enemy has tried to destroy within me.

My heart is wrinkled, crumbled up into so many directions. God you know all things, you created me in my mothers womb. You know the longing I have to be loved, accepted, and cherished yet you leave me here alone. Everyone that was supposed to love me, protect me, encourage me, make me feel safe and secure has so deeply wounded me and has left me in the middle of the roaring seas to sink. To alienate, reject, abandon a little girl who is so deeply thirsting to be loved.

Why Lord do I feel forsaken, unlovable and unwanted? Why would you allow me to experience such brokenness and so much pain? Why Lord is it always the long hard journey? Don’t you see me Lord? Don’t you see this starving little girl that just wants to sit on her daddy’s lap? A little girl that is reaching up, hands open wide, hoping, praying that someone would just lean in and grab her hand. Can’t you see Lord the desperation to climb out of the sinking waters? That every time I build up enough strength and courage to come before you I am reminded of the pain, disappointment and being discounted. I am tired Lord. I am so tired of looking in the mirror at a shattered soul. Please Lord, please piece me back together.

Am I unlovable? Am I not good enough? Show me Lord the path. Show me the hope, the light to release this pain. To know the full victory that comes from healing. Meet me Lord, celebrate me. See this little girl dancing before you. Can you see me? Show me you are enough. Take what I know in my head to be truth and transfer it, leaving a life changing imprint upon my soul. Allow me to grow deeper, closer, more passionately in love with you. Take my hand and direct my paths. Lead me to the still waters and resurrect the dark dying fragments within me. Turn my mourning into dancing and let me experience an outpouring of your anointed love. Embrace me, cover me with your purifying blood and redeem all the things the enemy tried to use to harm me, shut me down and destroy me. Take my suffering and use it for your glory. Allow your light to shine so bright within me that I stand out in the crowds but not for my brokenness, but for your redemptive love.

Seal me with your truth and your love and allow my pain to be used to bring living water and life back to the lost.             REDEEM, RESTORE, RESURRECT!!!!

WOW, I write this to you because it’s simply AMAZING that when you are positioned before the loving, faithful living God, miracles will happen, healing’s will occur and the transformation of your soul will bring forth a brighter light that was trapped behind a false darkness. When you open your soul to HIM, he meets you, embraces you and touches you in such a way that you fall to your knees crying in awe over the fact that he loves you so deeply and passionately that he so desires you to walk in his freedom.

My lament did that for me. I was obedient to the voice of the Lord, I went before him in prayer and asked him to write what was buried deep within and when I released what I was so scared to acknowledge, He meet me, he loved on me and he allowed me to take one more step into his freedom. GOD IS GOOD ALL OF THE TIME!!!!