As I slowly moved along on this dreary cold and rainy day, not feeling well at all, I sit and meditate on the overwhelming peace I had when I was in Florida last week, a peace that just chilled through in the inner most part of my soul and I peace I so desperately needed then as much as I do know. As I sat in church this morning, with my heart rate beating way off, feeling shaky, fatigued and with enormous brain fog, with tears streaming down my face pleading with and questioning God, will I ever have freedom from not feeling well? I fell to my knees in worship crying out to still my fear.
While I was in Florida my time with Pam was rejuvenating to not only my health but to my soul. We sat in front of a wall of windows each morning, in oversized wicker chairs, drinking coffee gazing out onto the beautiful ocean before us. We watched the sun glistening down on the high waters, the ripples of the waves, dolphins swimming along the shoreline and the waves crashing in. We had in depth God discussions and we just laid our hearts on our sleeves. Good, rich transformational discussions.
Saturday morning Pam and I woke up, grabbed our hot mug of coffee and began our day just gazing onto the ocean. As we were sitting there looking at the beauty of Gods creation, Pam was reminded of a scripture she had read out of Genesis from the Message translation. As she read it to me there was one thing that really stood out. It stated that God created all the boarders, the beginning and the end to ALL things. WOW. What an amazing concept to grasp. He knew when to start something and when to end it. Although I knew this deep within, I was blown away especially since we were watching the ocean waters end and land begin. I was mesmerized for days.
As I held onto this concept, Sunday afternoon as I was laying by the pool and listening to the ocean waves, I was quickly reminded of this discussion and an unfathomable peace shook me to the core. You see I love love love the ocean. It brings every inch of my being into to compete stillness and peace. I love that you can look out onto the deep dark sea and never truly grasp how long, how wide and how deep it goes. Its beauty runs forever and its timeless. You hear calming sounds, you watch birds soar high and wide over the ocean. You get to see high tides, low tides, and you get to witness the exact spot, the exact moment in time when the waters collide with land.
WOW WOW WOW. listen to what I am saying. When at the ocean you get to see the exact spot, at the exact moment God orchestrates for the waters to hit land. He created the boarders, he created the boundaries. No matter how rough the water, no matter how fierce and high the waves may be, no matter how much junk the tides bring in, at an exact moment when the water crashes onto the shoreline there is complete stillness. Something transpires when the force of the waters collide with the stillness of the sand and there is complete silence for about a second, until he next wave comes crashing in. But it is within the second that powerful mighty things happen. It is in the second where the waters calm down, leaving sea shells, some broken, some whole and its in that second the water sinks into the sand, soaking up all that it can absorb. Its within that moment in time when you see Gods incredible design, you see his boundaries and you see his boarders at its finest.
Isn’t this true with what God does with us. When our lives are filled with deep wounds, pains, hurts and all the other junk we are so quickly push down and hide is when he shows up. At an exact moment in time, when we are sinking into the depths of the ocean waters, barely keeping our heads afloat, He comes crashing into our shoreline with fierce power to break up all the rubble and collides with our souls so that when the two collide chains are broken and we are set free. When God meets us in our deepest darkest hour and brings forth all the rubble we have been suppressing, when the boundaries and boarders of His love, power and resurrected strength crashes in with our weakness there is a stillness, a calm and a peace that surpasses all understanding. As long, deep and wide as the ocean may seem, Gods love for us is that much deeper, wider and longer. He loves us that much that he will NEVER let us drown. He shines down his light, glistening over the dark tunnel we are sinking in and he gives us a reason and purpose to look up and seek him. He gleams that light onto us so that we can reach up, grab ahold of him and allow him to carry us through. He shines his light so we an have a path, direction and course to which to follow. He shines his light to save, redeem and to give us hope.
So as I sat there and this truth became my reality, I rested in this truth. With Him guiding, leading, and directing my paths, seeing where I need him most and knowing the exact moment when I am depleted and hopeless, His waves come crashing into my soul to bring me compete and utter peace. It is then I feel completely vulnerable to his transforming anointed healing and my soul is at rest singing HIS praises and knowing, IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL. Because no matter how bad I feel, no matter how much pain I am in, no matter how sorry I may feel for myself, HE is faithful. He brings strength to the weak, He brings hope to the hopeless and he brings light to those wondering in darkness. He shields and protects us under his wings, lavishes us with his unfailing love and anoints us with a renewed strength. I don’t have all the answers and I don’t know where this journey is going to take me but I do know one thing for sure. I know I will face good seasons as well as many difficult ones but no matter what season I am in , I KNOW I could not face it without the light, hope, faithfulness and LOVE of GOD. To that I am forever grateful.
Isaiah 40:28-31… Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.