For so many years I was embarrassed of my past. I was ashamed of what I went through and I tried so desperately to hide the dismantled cracks deep within my soul. I feared people would leave me if they knew the depths of trauma, pains and wounds I endured. I was so scared of the what if’s, that I got locked up in an emotional prison where I was very content living behind the bars that kept me enslaved because it was safe.
Then I met Jesus. The author and the perfecter of my faith. My Prince of Peace, my redeemer. The one who resurrects the dead and breathes life back into my lungs. The one who takes it all, the good, the bad and the ugly and uses it ALL for His glory and His good. The one who awakens dry bones and rattles them, bringing me life and life abundantly. The one who is my hiding place and my safe place of refuge. The one who turns water into wine, mourning into dancing and graves into gardens. The one who showers me with His shalom peace and the one who is a miracle worker, who chose me, and the one who called me home into His arms.
I now look at my life, the circumstances I have endured and I have realized I am not a victim, but a chosen, set apart child of God. A daughter of the Most High who has called me by name and has immaculate plans blueprinted out for my life.
I rarely look back and feel sorry for myself anymore because I know as soon as I look back, the enemy will try and slow me down by bringing me in a downward spiral of darkness, of pity. Looking over my shoulder in sadness is a burden of my past. Instead, I have chosen to stand in a posture of surrendered worship, praise, and gratitude as I have recognized how God has used me , grown me, and transformed me. I have fixed my eyes on Jesus while running the race He has set before me. I run it with perseverance knowing there is a great cloud of witnesses watching over me and cheering me on. This is solely the handiwork of God and I will continue to give Him all the praise and glory because He began a great work within me and I know He will finish it until completion.
I have learned it is ok to weep, Jesus wept. It is ok to grieve, Jesus grieved. It is ok to not be ok, because Jesus is my strength. It is ok to be broken, even shattered because Jesus takes what has been broken, and He takes His potters hands, remolding me into a beautiful masterpiece.
I am not sure what you may be walking through today and if you feel as though the darkness you are entrapped in has overtaken any glimpse or hope or light in your life. I am not sure if you are embarrassed or ashamed of some choices you have made, a path you have chosen to walk or if you feel your brokenness is too deep for God to heal? I am not sure if fear of rejection or abandonment has left you paralyzed or if the storm raging within is causing you to feel as if a tsunami is about to hit and knock you out but what I am going to tell you is that God is faithfully good. He is reaching out His righteous right hand to lift you up onto solid ground so you can finally take a deep breathe. He will redeem what the enemy has tried to steal, kill and destroy from your life and He will make beauty from your ashes. He will collect all the tears you have shed and He will fill you with joy. Trust in Him today. Trust in the process. Trust that the road He is asking you to walk down WILL lead you to freedom, to victory, to glory upon glory. Set your eyes on Jesus. Know He will never leave you nor forsake you and that this season of your life, well it’s a chapter in the story He is writing out for your life. Be proud of your past, for it is a living testimony of the miracles He performed in your life. Be proud of how far you have come and be proud that your story of how you overcame will be the very thing God uses to bring healing not only to your life, but to someone else that is barely holding on.
So as we surrender to Him, His will and His ways, let’s all stand in a posture of yes, I fell apart but I survived because God saw me on the ground, gathered all of my broken pieces and molded me into the finest piece of pottery He ever created.
Love you all deeply and know I am praying you through ❤️
