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This picture rocked me to the core of my soul for so many reasons.
For so many years I walked around in isolation because I was scared to be open and transparent about who I was, the hurts and pains I had experienced and to share the deep scars I had with my soul. I truly believed if anyone saw how ugly my life had been that they would never see the true beauty within. Yes, I get it there are visable scars on ones body that can change their appearance yet it doesn’t change their beauty, however so many of my scars were deep within that I truly believed I was damaged goods.

You know how the Bible repeatedly talks about the power of the tongue? How it can bring life or death?

I remember as a young girl I would always examine my body, I would find things that were wrong with it and my family would always make fun of me.. hahaha I get it, OCD perfectionist at its finest.

I remember one incident when I was sitting on my living room floor as a you girl watching tv and I was picking at a scab that I had on my leg. The words that were spoken over me next penetrated deep within my soul and I would have to say changed the course on how I viewed myself and heartaches I encountered then on after. “You know Alison, if you have any scars on your body, you will never be pretty enough to be Miss America.”

WOW, WOW, WOW.. although I can somewhat laugh about that statement now, as a little girl who always watched the Miss America pageants and soo deeply wanted to be “that pretty” those words that were spoken over me scared me more than the actual scar on my leg.
As I didn’t think much about that comment growing up, I have to say I was extremely OCD about ever getting a “scar” on my body that would be visible because if I had one, well then I wasn’t pretty enough.

As I trucked through life and the pains and hurts I encountered began to leave wounds deep within my soul, I began to isolate who I truly was because if anyone saw the true Alison, you know the one that walked through some ugly seasons, that had been hurt, betrayed, rejected, abandoned, you name it, I have walked through it, then would anyone want to even be my friend?? I mean I had some deep scars within my soul and to me, well I was just ugly.

Fast forward many many years, fast forward to me hitting rock bottom in my life, handing my life over to the Lord and Him beginning a miraculous work in my life. There were several pivotal God defining moments that began to open my heart and my eyes to see that all that I have been through, the pains, the hurts, the scars, all of it was being used to shape me into the person I am today. Romans 8:28 states,” And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.” This Scripture was truth over my life because through Him I began to realize my testimony was witness to His powerful, anointed great name. My life, all the things I thought were “ugly” were Him molding me, like a potter and his clay, into His “BEAUTIFUL MASTERPIECE”. Blessed and thankful.

There are three incidents that allowed me to fully grasp this. One being a lady in my bible study who prayed over me when I first became a believer and she prayed this, “Lord, I pray that Alison would stop playing victim to all she has walked through and she will see that all she has been though will be used to glorify your kingdom.” Wow, game changer.

Second was when I was in seminary and God had placed it upon my heart to ask one of my professors to take me under his wing and mentor me through seminary. When I sat before him, he began to ask me questions like, who are you? I immediately began to shrivel up inside. He saw my deminor change as I began to try and answer him and he stopped me as I was talking about all that I had walked through and said this. “None of us have it all together, in fact, if you sat here and said that you did, I wouldn’t be able to work with you and I would think you are more wounded then you are” BOOM, Game changer, I wasn’t alone. Thank the Lord.

The third pivotal piece was a book by Henry Nouwen, “The Wounded Healer,” a book that was a required read for one of my classes in seminary. In this book, Henry Nouwen talks about the wounds we experience in our lives and when that wound is open it’s painful and it hurts. But when that wound becomes a scar, it doesn’t hurt anymore. We can look at it and remember how we got it, recall the pain associated with it but when it becomes a scar, it’s no longer open, its no longer bleeding and it no longer hurts. It’s then, when our wounds become scars that we can use our testimony to helps others. To share how God met us and brought us through a dark time and how that scar then brings hope and healing to someone so desperately needing it.

These three incidents, were God anointed and appointed moments in the healing of my heart. You see my heart had soo many open wounds that needed the healing touch of Jesus. My heart needed an encounter with Him that changed how I viewed my life and all that I had walked through. My heart needed an episodic encounter with Him where I could truly grasped that He loved me despite my scars. An encounter where I didn’t hide from my scars any longer but realized my scars created a beauty within. A beauty that only I could hold because my scars were the testimony of how powerful, faithful, and loving God was in my life. My scars tell a story and my scars are witness to God reaching out His anointed hands when I was drowning in a sea of darkness and my scars are a testimony to how He rescued me, how He brought hope to the hopeless, light into darkness and how He brought about Freedom to someone who was schackled up in chains.

Dont get me wrong, the enemy is still at large and he knows where to attack, where my weaknesses lay and he knows how to hit me hard in the core. The reality is the skin where you have a scar is fragile, if you hit it or scratch at it the wrong way you jump back because it is sensitive and it hurts. The enemy does the same thing and yes sometimes it takes my breath away and knocks me down for the count. But then I become still, I lean into HIM and I allow Him to speak forth truth, love and life back into my bleeding heart. He has never failed me. He always resurrects me, my situation and births forth deeper insight, wisdom, healing and freedom.  AMEN

I don’t know where you are at today. The pains, heartaches, wounds and scars you are walking through but I want you to hear me and hold onto this truth. Look at Jesus, you know the one who died on the cross for you and me. The one who endured a tortuous, painful, humiliating death so that we could know Him and His great love, So that we could be healed and set free. Look at Him, look at His hands, His feet, His side. Look at His entire body and all the scars He endured for us and look at Him and tell me, “do you think He is ugly?” I don’t. In fact, I think He is the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever seen.

There is nothing you have done, been through, or walked through that could ever disqualitfy you, your beauty, your need for Him or His love for YOU. There is nothing that you could ever do that would make Him look at you differently or love you less. You are beautiful. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. He has you in the palm of His hand and He calls you by name. He created you in your mothers womb, your inmost being. He is alive, active, performing miraculous miracles daily and He has such a divine grace given gift inside of you that the enemy is at large trying to divert, distract and destroy any ounce of you ever seeing that. Trust in Him to heal you, all of you and trust that He has an anointed plan for your life. Trust that He turns ashes into beauty and trust that He turns our mourning into dancing. Trust that what you have walked through will be used to glorify Him and His kingdom and trust that no matter how big or ugly you feel your scars are, that His scars are the ones that have set us free.

Breathe that in today. Allow Him to clothe you with His divine healing hands and allow Him to do a work in and through you. To heal your heart, to take the veil off of your eyes and to begin to truly see the beautiful person you are.

My beloved child, the most beautiful things have dents, scratches, bruises and scars. We all have walked through some hard and difficult times and some of us hide behind the pain of our scars. Each one of them tell a story. Begin to tell yours and watch how you begin to advance His kingdom. You are PRECIOUS  and I love you all BIG

My chains are gone, my debt is paid, from death to life and grace to grace… When I see that cross I see freedom, When I see that grave I see Jesus, from death to life I will sing your praise, In the wonder of your grace.  Hillsong Worship