The last few days one of my daughters has been in a wrestle between her flesh and where she knew the Lord was leading her. In her wrestle there was excitement for the adventure she knew the Lord was asking her to travel, yet there was an internal battle of doubt, fear and feelings of not being good enough to fill the role in which God was asking her to step into.
After many long conversations, prayers and internal temper tantrums, I knew my time of pouring into her and positioning her before the Lord had come to an end. I knew the posture I needed to take was one of intercession and prayer. A posture of surrendered release as I positioned her before the throne so God’s voice would be the only one she could hear. I knew my voice was beginning to overtake and drown out the authoritative voice of His and she was beginning to lean more on my direction rather than the direction of God. I knew she needed one on one quiet time with the Lord. She needed to stand before Him surrendered in her flesh and seek the gentle whispers of His voice and she needed to hear what He was speaking into her soul because I knew if she didn’t hear it directly from Him, she would never be fully surrendered, fully confident and fully equipped to walk into her next season in which He was launching her into.
She needed to know HE was the one calling her to throw her net into the deep and walk boldly by faith. She needed to know that HE was the one that was going to take the gifting, the anointing, the passion and desires He imparted within her and He was going to use it ALL to glorify Him. She needed to know it wasn’t her flesh leading her in this decision making process but that her steps were clearly being marked out and directed by the Lord.
So last night, she took that time of stillness before the Lord, surrendering her will to His will. She placed her burdens, her fears, her doubts and all the other emotions that were flooding through the intricate parts of her soul, the ones that had her paralyzed from clearly seeing the road He was calling her to journey through and she sat with Him until she was released. When she came downstairs, chills radiated through my body because with each step she took, you knew she had a transformational, episodic counter with God because her face, her continuance was beaming with the illuminating light of Jesus.
She spent several hours after this encounter walking in a powerful confidence, a confidence in which I knew God met her in the depths of her valley and spoke the exact words she needed to hear to not only walk in conviction of what she knew she needed to do next, but in a way that changed her course, her trajectory, her vision of the faithfulness of God.
As she laid her head on her pillow last night I sent her a text with these thoughts to rest upon:
Question to ponder…
As you were unsettled about where God was calling you to step as you launch your net into the deep, into a leadership role that will exemplify the gifting and anointing He has imparted into your life, why do you believe He had you in a holding period of uncertainty, of fear, of doubt for several days?
I truly believe no matter what we are facing, whether an emotional storm, a new role, an old role, distress, heartache, grief, whatever it may be, that we need to sit surrendered to the Lord as we ponder these words and seek Him for the answers. It is when He speaks into those places in our hearts that we are forever marked and forever changed because we will know in that moment in time that the pruning and purification process was to prepare us for the calling, the exceedingly and abundantly more in which He has ordained over our lives. It is in that moment in time we will no longer look back questioning, “Did I make the “right” decision because we will fully know He who began a great work within us, the one who has called us to it, will not only equip us for it, but He will finish His work within us until the day of completion. This… this is what it is all about. Dying to self and living for Christ.
Praying that those who need to be still and surrendered to your flesh today will go before the Lord and seek His direction. I am praying that He will speak to you in His gentle whisper and that He will pave the way. Lean in, trust and enjoy process friends. He has you in the palms of His hands and He is carrying you through.
Love you all and praying you through
1 Kings 19:11-13, “The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.”
