As I opened facebook this morning, the first thing that showed up on my news feed was this breathtaking photo my anointed friend Trudy took and as I looked at this magnificent masterpiece, the Lord immediately pressed on my heart, “Do you see yourself as I see you?” Do you see the beauty I created in and through you? Do you see yourself as a precious child of the One True King? Do you see that I am in you and you in me? Do you see how exquisitely, uniquely and divinely I have made you? Do you see the beauty within, Do you see yourself how I see you?
WOW, I just LOVE when the Lord speaks to me and in such profound ways. I am about to get really vulnerable with you all but the reality is, this is my reality. You see, for me the answer has been NO. I do not and have not seen myself as the Lord sees me. When I look into the mirror I see a worn out, beat up not so pretty girl. I see a girl that is sick, in pain and a girl that so desperately wants to be held. My skin has changed, my hair texture has changed, my body has changed, and everything that I held onto as part of “who I am” has changed and it has gotten me into a place of deep internal sadness. A place where I have questioned, God why have you taken this away as well?’ “Why do I not have anything in my world that was the same as before? Why can I not hold onto the things that made me feel “pretty” secure and beautiful?” Why God Why??”
And then this. Why do you hold onto those things as part of who you are and allow them to define you? Why do you allow the things of the world to tell you how beautiful you are and when are you going to take the veil off of your eyes and be able to see yourself how I see you? HELLO.. Boom right in my face.
You see for far to long I have allowed the things of the world to define me and my beauty. I think it stems from the fact that as I have lived life people would always compliment me on my external beauty and “used” me for that. People never truly took the time to get to know me and see the beauty within. That was always a struggle for me because I really wanted people to see the depth and beauty within but most did not. Since this is how I was treated or should I say mistreated, I believe I began to focus on the fact that my external beauty needed to be “perfect” or else I would not be liked or excepted. I needed to have it all together on the outside even though inside I was crumbling. I find this so ironic because for so many years, I did not pretty myself up because I didn’t want people to look at me. If they couldn’t see within, then I didn’t want them to see me at all. Crazy thinking I know.
Anyways, As I have walked through this season of being purified and being in the wilderness, refined and redefined, A season where I have lost so much but gained in abundance. A season where I find it HARD to look at myself in the mirror because I only see an ugly (broken) beat up girl, God is using ALL of this to help me see and remember that I am in a constant battle, that I need to repeatedly rebuke the enemy and his attacks on my life and that I need to take this veil that satan has placed so heavily over my eyes off and begin to see HIS reflection inside of me.
I so love this and so needed this. He lives inside of me. It is His reflection that I need to see every morning and it is His beauty, His love, His essence that resides in me. When I look into the mirror I need to rebuke the lies of the world, the lies of the enemy and clothe myself with HIS love and truths, The lies keep us in bondage but His truths set us free.
Its amazing to me that we can all go through life truly believing the lies the enemy has placed over our lives and truly walk out and make decisions based on those lies. When we can be still enough in the craziness of life and be still enough to allow God to work in and through us. Still enough to hear His voice so we can allow the dead leaves to fall of the branches in our lives that have kept us in bondage, still enough to let go and let GOD, then we will see the hands and feet of Jesus, the mighty, all powerful hand of God at work and amazing amazing things will happen.
You see when I see this picture something about it resinated within my soul. God spoke to me through it and I could not let the image go. It pressed on my heart all day with me continuously looking back at it asking and praying for God to speak profoundly to me through it. I sat in front of my computer many of times to write and I had “writers block.” I couldn’t seem to find what I needed or wanted to say and then I finally sat down and said God use me. To be honest until I started typing I had no idea what was going to be exposed. I always want what I write to bless you all and be a source of encouragement, leading you closer to HIM. I had no idea I was going to purge out what was just written on these pages. But that is what I soo love about God. When we position ourselves before Him and truly want to change and be purified into His image, He uses the “little” things to grab our attention and when we are quiet enough to hear Him, He brings to light what has been hidden in darkness. LOVE
This picture has been therapeutic and healing for me. It brings me into a place of peace and solace. A place of serenity and a place where it truly captures my breath because this picture captures it all. This picture before me shows the beautiful scenery, the change of seasons and it shows a magnificent reflection in the water. Yet is also shows in that reflection, leaves that are floating away, the debris, the things that are no longer attached, the things that have “let go.” It’s a reminder that God shakes off the things in our lives that keep us in bondage. Things that are no longer good for us and things that need to be pruned off so that we can grow in HIM. Things that I have just “lived” with made its way out of darkness and the light of Jesus poured into those areas of brokenness. He is faithful, just and He just loves and adores us so profoundly that He is always looking out for us, bringing us step by step closer to HIM, allowing us to be purified, redeemed and restored. HE uses ALL things for His good, His kingdom and His glory. He is good ALL the time. Praising His high and holy name.
I believe this is an area so many of us struggle with. I want to encourage you today to look at this picture, meditate on it and allow God to speak to you through you . Allow Him to do what allow he can do. He says in Isaiah 61, that he binds up the brokenhearted and proclaims freedom to the captives and releases the prisoners from darkness. He has come to set YOU free. Are you wiling and ready to look in the mirror and see the reflection of HIM inside of you? Are you ready to allow Him to do a mighty work in you and are you ready to truly take one more step to walking in HIS freedom? Sometimes the pain of walking through a trial is hard to bare, The thought of it truly can bring anxiety to your soul but let me tell you this. It is soo worth it because once you walk through it there is so much FREEDOM that comes from it. I am here to walk things out with you, to hold your hand, encourage you, uplift you, pray with you and for you and LOVE on you. I want you all to see how beautiful you are. How beautiful God made you and the beauty HE sees you. You are vibrantly beautiful and I love you all deeply.
2 Corinthians 3:16-18New Living Translation (NLT)
16 But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. 17 For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18 So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.