Walking through the depths of the valley these past several months has put me in a place of complete surrender and dependance on God.
Although I didn’t choose to be faced with these debilitating circumstances, I had to come to a place where I had to choose how I would walk through it. I could choose to cling to the cross or I could choose to go down a very scary downward spiral. As hard as it is to cling to the cross at times, I chose Jesus. I chose to cling to His truths and His promises. I chose to allow Him to take me to unknown places, searching my heart for any bitterness, unforgiveness, deceit, really anything that was keeping me out of alignment and out of righteousness living with Him.
Y’all I was slayed by what He was purifying out of me and maturing me in, but He brought me to a place of indescribable freedom as I began to bless those who have hurt me instead of holding onto the pain. Only Jesus
There have been moments throughout the last two months that I have face to face with utter despair, fear, depression and honestly questioning my healing. There have been TEARS shed and moments my grip was slipping away, when I honestly didn’t think I could hold onto the cross any longer. Moments I have felt like throwing in the towel, believing I couldn’t live like this or fight anymore. Yet, it has been in those moments God dispersed His army of angels to either call me, text me, send me a facebook or instagram message or a verse that continued to randomly SHOW UP, that God reminded me just how GOOD and FAITHFUL He is.
If I am going to be flat out honest with y’all, one of the things that I would say “triggered” unpleasant feelings within my heart the most was when people would say, “You know if you are getting hit this hard by the enemy, God must have amazing plans for you.” I felt as though this comment was equivalent to someone saying, “You know this is only going to make you stronger.” Which don’t get me wrong both comments I believe are TRUTH. However when you are walking through a deserted dark valley, those comments are NOT soothing and or comforting. Sometimes you just need to call it for what it is, this SUCKS and leave it at that.
When trenching through the rough of it, and I will speak for myself here, I want, in fact I need someone to meet me in my emotional upheaval. To see the chaotic state my soul is in, hold me until I get to a place of homeostasis and then, when you see the shalom peace of God falling down upon me, it is then when I NEED you speak His truths over me. Sometimes I/we need to just be held. No words, just an empathetic, sympathetic, compassionate embrace letting us know we are not alone. Don’t get me wrong here, I/we need to hear God’s truths and promises to carry us through and to give us the strength to fight the battle. However, when I or someone else is in a place of panic, fear and is in complete and utter disarray, we can’t cling to, “Oh the blessings on the other side of this are going to be amazing.” We know we will get through it. However, what we don’t necessarily know in the “moment” is the “NEED” to know we are not alone. Is anyone else with me? Can anyone else relate to this?
So let me remind you and myself of this simple truth. You are NOT ALONE because God promises never to leave us not forsake us. You see, God doesn’t promise an explanation of our circumstances but He does promise to come alongside of us, hold our hands and walk through it with us. That is grace, that is love, that is His unfailing presence in our lives and that is the freedom He offers. Simply amazing.
All this to say, this journey of life we travel is a faith walk. Today I urge you to choose faith over fear. Choose to cling to the cross and choose His grace, His love, His truths and His promises. Know this passage from Isaiah 66:9 to be truth and cling to it when you find yourself in unbearable pain. Allow Him to purify you in the midst of your pain and allow Him to take you places you have been scared to go. He will take all of your broken pieces and birth forth something beautiful from your pain. Lean into Jesus. Lean into Him for comfort, for strength and lean into Him for the peace and freedom He offers. You will not be disappointed.
Not sure if someone has had all these emotions bottled up and needed this today, but know you are not alone and I am always here for you and praying you through.
Love y’all
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