Sometimes while in the hustle and bustle of life, when I am faced with one storm after another, when my anxiety is high and I am teetering on depression, I forget that Jesus is stretching out His hand to grab ahold of me so we can walk through the trenches of my life together.
Having experienced deep heartache, I learned early in life that I couldn’t count on anyone to get me through the emotional upheavals I faced. So, more often that not, I tend to subconsciously go into self protection mode when in the thick of the storm and try to shovel my way out of the ditches on my own.
After days of being in a lonely and desolate place, when I am in an emotional rut and I cannot figure out why I am not having breakthroughs and experiencing freedom from the cloudiness and fog that encapsulates my thinking, I feel this gentle nudge in my soul reminding me who I am and to whom I belong. That I have an amazing ABBA Father who is patiently waiting for me to let go and surrender. To be still and grab ahold of His hand so He can lead the way. So we could do this TOGETHER.
You see, Satan tries so hard to distract me and keep me in a place of emotional chaos that sometimes I forget that Jesus too was tempted and that many storms came His way as the enemy slithered around, lurking for opportunities to detour Him from His calling and purpose. Sometimes I forget that He faced many obstacles and much adversity as He stepped out in faith and obedience while ministering to the masses. Sometimes I forget that He walked through rejection, persecution, gossip, betrayal, physical abuse and that He was shamed, mocked and left bare naked and vulnerable for all to see. That He was crucified for my freedom.
Why? It’s not because I truly forget the sacrifice of the cross and the blood that was shed for me. It’s not because I overlook Jesus’ life and miracles, I can’t it’s imbedded in me. It’s my foundation in which I stand. It’s why I can truly walk in victory and in freedom. The reason I sometimes “forget” is due to my flesh. My struggle to be in control. The battles I face in the vulnerability of complete surrender and let’s not forget the enemy’s tactics to try and blind me from His truths and his mission to try and kill, steal and destroy any hope and light I have to hold onto.
I always find it so amazing that it takes less than a millisecond for the enemy to take me down, yet it takes me days even weeks to realize what he has tried to do and what I need to do to reposition myself before Gods healing, restorative hands.
Jesus knows what we are faced with today and knows the pains and heartaches we encounter. He doesn’t want us to walk this journey out alone. He continuously reaches out His wounded, scared hand and says, take hold of me and let’s do this together.
I don’t know about you but I so desire Him to lead the way. I want Him to take ahold of me as I travel down this bumpy road I am journeying on and to catch me before I fall and bruise my body, mind and soul. To meet me when I isolate and seclude myself when life gets too heavy to bear. That when my actions and words are those of Cruella Devil, that my inmost being would be so full of Him, that I would pour out, actually ooze out all things Jesus.
I fall short most days. I allow the victim mentality to sometimes creep in and there are days I have a full on pitty party for myself. There are days I feel defeated and weak and there are days I honestly feel like throwing in the towel.
Yet, it’s when I am at my lowest, when the day is dark and the morning cannot come fast enough that God speaks His infinite love and truth into my soul, reigniting it with a burning flame. He reminds me that His mercies are new every morning. That I am forgiven and He remembers my sin no more. That He weeps with me and rejoices with me. That I am His beloved child in which He loves and is well pleased. That there is nothing I have done nor could ever do that could separate me from Him and His great love. That He promises to never leave me nor forsake me and He reminds me of the importance to continually be in prayer, suited up on the armor of God and to ALWAYS praise HIM. That He will turn my mourning into dancing and that He will lavish me with His unconditional, unfailing love. That if He is for me who can be against me and that all I need to do is be still, trust in Him and allow Him to take the lead. I need to allow the spirit of Him within me to come forth and have my flesh take the back seat. I need to reach my hand out to His, trusting Him and allowing Him to guide me through the dark tunnel I so often find myself in and I need to surrender all of me to all of Him.
I would love to say this comes natural and is easy for me but it is not. I constantly have to remind myself of this simple act. I need to look at what comes at me as opportunities from Him to grow, purify and strengthen me. I need to be positioning myself around like minded people who hold me accountable and remind me to get back on track so I don’t drown in a sea of my own emotional storm.
So, let’s lean in a little closer and take a leap of faith as we grab onto Him with our strongest grip possible and allow Him to truly walk this journey of life out with us. He has prepared a table before us and He has prepared us for such a time as this. Hold onto Him, hold onto His truths. I promise you this, He will NOT fail you.
Isaiah 42:16 “I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.